Listed below are the top 5 reasons individuals give me when I ask them why they don't want to see a therapist. Hopefully, even those who are skeptical about the therapeutic process will view it differently after reading this.
1) Therapy
is good at any age.
I am 20
(or 30, 40, 50. . .) why do I have to revisit things that happened in
my childhood?
During
childhood, we form many of the uncomfortable feelings we experience
today. Without our realizing it, these feelings can become emotional
obstacles to living contented lives. Because so much of our past
affects our present, it can be difficult at any age to grow up, move
forward, and create the outcomes we want. Some people can move beyond
their obstacles without support, but many more find that therapy
helps them resolve their issues more readily.
2) Therapy
is affordable.
Therapy
sounds helpful--but can I afford it?
Consider
how much money we spend on other things (clothes, eating out,
entertainment, alcohol) to help us feel better. When each stops
working, we spend more money looking for more ways to feel good about
ourselves. Sure, initially therapy can be expensive. But the hope is
that through therapy, you will create the life you want and save
yourself money in the long-run by not needing to spend as much on
things to make you “feel better” in the short term.
I believe in making therapy accessible to as many people as possible. In my practice, I am an out-of-network provider. Understanding that everyone has different financial obligations, I offer a sliding scale and take deferred payments and credit cards.
I believe in making therapy accessible to as many people as possible. In my practice, I am an out-of-network provider. Understanding that everyone has different financial obligations, I offer a sliding scale and take deferred payments and credit cards.
3) Almost
everyone can benefit from therapy.
My
problems aren't that bad. Why do I need therapy?
I have
heard this so many times. Believe it or not, most people who go to
therapy do not have serious mental illness. They
have serious life challenges or are going through difficult
transitions, such as divorce,
job loss, loss of a loved one, empty nest, transitioning from college
to the “real world," ending a serious love relationship,
starting a new job, or becoming a parent.
They notice their level of coping is decreasing and that this change
is starting to affect their functioning. Dissatisfied, they seek out
the support and guidance of a therapist to help them through the
rough patch.
4) Going to
therapy should make you feel proud, not embarrassed.
Doesn't
going to therapy mean I'm weak?
People
often don't want to go to therapy because of the stigma that is
attached to having a serious problem or mental health issues. Yet no
one seems to have a problem seeing a physician for a yearly physical
or a dentist for a bi-yearly exam and cleaning. We feel fine letting
people know which church or synagogue we attend, but the thought of
telling others we need help for our emotional lives is typically met
with shame. Give your emotional life the same attention you give your
physical and spiritual life. You will be glad you did.
5) Feeling
your feelings is not a BAD thing.
If I go
to therapy, will I cry all the time?
One of my
favorite things to say to clients when they are telling me about an
uncomfortable situation or problematic feeling they are experiencing
is, “Why is that a problem? Instead can it be an opportunity for
learning and growth?" Phrasing it this way often helps clients not
be scared to feel their feelings. In therapy you are given the
opportunity to explore all your emotions with support. Feeling your
feelings is healing. Feeling your feelings can give you the tools to
get want you want out of life. That doesn't sound too bad, does it?