5 Things Your Mother Never Told You About Therapy

 

Listed below are the top 5 reasons individuals give me when I ask them why they don't want to see a therapist. Hopefully, even those who are skeptical about the therapeutic process will view it differently after reading this.

1) Therapy is good at any age.

I am 20 (or 30, 40, 50. . .) why do I have to revisit things that happened in my childhood?

During childhood, we form many of the uncomfortable feelings we experience today. Without our realizing it, these feelings can become emotional obstacles to living contented lives. Because so much of our past affects our present, it can be difficult at any age to grow up, move forward, and create the outcomes we want. Some people can move beyond their obstacles without support, but many more find that therapy helps them resolve their issues more readily.

 

2) Therapy is affordable.

Therapy sounds helpful--but can I afford it?

Consider how much money we spend on other things (clothes, eating out, entertainment, alcohol) to help us feel better. When each stops working, we spend more money looking for more ways to feel good about ourselves. Sure, initially therapy can be expensive. But the hope is that through therapy, you will create the life you want and save yourself money in the long-run by not needing to spend as much on things to make you “feel better” in the short term.

I believe in making therapy accessible to as many people as possible. In my practice, I am an out-of-network provider. Understanding that everyone has different financial obligations, I offer a sliding scale and take deferred payments and credit cards.

 3) Almost everyone can benefit from therapy.

My problems aren't that bad. Why do I need therapy?

I have heard this so many times. Believe it or not, most people who go to therapy do not have serious mental illness. They have serious life challenges or are going through difficult transitions, such as divorce, job loss, loss of a loved one, empty nest, transitioning from college to the “real world," ending a serious love relationship, starting a new job, or becoming a parent. They notice their level of coping is decreasing and that this change is starting to affect their functioning. Dissatisfied, they seek out the support and guidance of a therapist to help them through the rough patch.

4) Going to therapy should make you feel proud, not embarrassed.

Doesn't going to therapy mean I'm weak?

People often don't want to go to therapy because of the stigma that is attached to having a serious problem or mental health issues. Yet no one seems to have a problem seeing a physician for a yearly physical or a dentist for a bi-yearly exam and cleaning. We feel fine letting people know which church or synagogue we attend, but the thought of telling others we need help for our emotional lives is typically met with shame. Give your emotional life the same attention you give your physical and spiritual life. You will be glad you did.

5) Feeling your feelings is not a BAD thing.

If I go to therapy, will I cry all the time?

One of my favorite things to say to clients when they are telling me about an uncomfortable situation or problematic feeling they are experiencing is, “Why is that a problem? Instead can it be an opportunity for learning and growth?" Phrasing it this way often helps clients not be scared to feel their feelings. In therapy you are given the opportunity to explore all your emotions with support. Feeling your feelings is healing. Feeling your feelings can give you the tools to get want you want out of life. That doesn't sound too bad, does it?